Introduction to My Writing Portfolio

Chinese Name：Liu Xiaomu
English Name: Neo Lau
From City: Beijing CN
Education: Sophomore at Fudan University
Major: Biomedical Engineering

Writing Background:

I have loved writing since I was in junior high. At that time, my native language teacher assigned lots of reading and reciting tasks. From contemporary fictions to ancient poems, from prose to thesis I read a lot. Every time after reading, I have the impulse to write something. However, most times I just imitated the styles of the famous writers. When I entered into the senior high, thanks to the extensive reading, I suddenly found I could write an elegant essay using my own language style. My writing earned good grades. On the other hand, my experience of writing in English also progress step by step.

In college I set up a blog. Soon I love it very much. I keep writing dairy or other kind essays on my blog. Through writing blogs, I shared articles and exchanged ideas with other people. It’s quite an interesting thing. Recently, I tried to write some critical articles about movies, music and literary works. Now I am interested in writing in English or other languages.

Cover Letter

Cover Letter
19 Dec. 2006

Dear Portfolio Reader:

I would first like to thank you for taking the time to read my selected works for my portfolio. The following works in the portfolio represent what I have improved in writing in this Academic Writing class. There are three parts in this portfolio. The first part is the interpretive essay, which is on the basis of story I read in the book “International Story”. The three drafts are what I spent most time on in the semester. The other two parts will show you some different styles of my writing. One is reading log. The other is time writing, which shows my ability to write in a given time.

I was always enthusiastic in writing. Compared with perfect writing in Chinese, I could not express my thoughts well in English. Being not satisfied with that, I want to learn more and to exercise more to meet my needs to writing a better English essay, especially a formal essay. Mr. Corio helped me a lot to develop my writing by taught us some writing skills and strategies. He also pointed out the grammar and spelling mistakes in every essay I wrote, which help me to make fewer errors in my writings. Overall, due to my effort, I believe my writing ability is becoming stronger.

The first part of my portfolio is my three drafts. I chose the story “A Woman Like Me” by Xi Xi to interpretive. Because I think it provides the reader a woman full of contradictions in a minute description. I want to analyze the complex character rooted in the leading character. In the trial draft, I paid much attention on finding the evidences to support my thesis. However, they were not well organized. Too many long quotations also made the readers confusing. The supporting points were not clear and strong enough. Thanks to my partners’ comments, I improved a lot in my draft 2 to explain my ideas more clearly. Minor grammatical errors, such as capitalization errors, were sometimes evident in my draft 2. In my final draft, I focused on the grammar. Meanwhile I tried to make the structure better. I think the three essays will represent how much progress I made in writing.

The second part of the portfolio is my time writing in the class. At first, I was not adapt to write in a limited times. After learning the strategies for time writing, I did the job better. I choose the time writing essay in my final exam. The topic concerns about the countries around the world becoming more similar. You will see what level I have achieved in time writing.

The final part of the portfolio I chose a reading log of the story “village” by Portillo Trambley. That is a story about a soldier, Rico, who refuse to take the order to massacre the villagers in Vietnam War. I expressed my ideas after reading this story in the reading log.

Finally I would like to say that I fortunately entered this class. This course played a very important role in development in my writing. I knew that to improve my writing abilities I need to continue to practice.

Thank you for taking the time to read my papers. I hope you enjoyed reading each one

Trial Draft one

The story is set in twentieth-century Hong Kong. It’s a story about Fate, Love and Courage. The story begin as : “ A woman like me is actually unsuitable for any man’s love. So the fact that the emotional involvement between Xia and me has reached this point fills even me with wonder. I feel that the blame for my having fallen into this trap, from which there is no escape, rests solely with Fate, which has played a cruel trick on me. I am totally powerless to resist Fate.”-----That is the basic idea of the story. Through the narrator’s confession, she draw an inference about her Fate. As a cosmetician for the deceased, the narrator fell in love with a man called Xia. But she worried that when she told Xia of her occupation, she would lose him. On the other hand, she like her career as a cosmetician in a way. She admire Aunt Yifen and became more and more like her. But she didn’t want has the same fate in the aspect of love like Aunt Yifen. Filled with contradiction, at last, the narrator planed to take courage to tell Xia the truth. The narrator has confidence that Xia is not timid. Though being powerless to Fate, the narrator never lose her courage for love ,both for her occupation and Xia.

It is often said that love is what makes the world go round. The narrator in Xi Xi's "A Woman Like Me" stakes her hope for happiness on a love relationship with Xia.. The narrator wavers between two contradictory opinions of fate as a power beyond man's control. The narrator repeatedly says that she doesn't deserve to be loved. "A woman like me is actually unsuitable for any man’s love.". While She reiterates that several times throughout the story, she denounces anyone who does not fight for love when she tells the tale of a young couple who committed suicide for love. At first, she had the thought of using him to create “the most perfectly serene cadaver.”. However, at last, she thought “ I believe instead of that his had been an act of extreme weakness: I knew that, considering my position, I should have nothing to do with anyone who lacked the courage to resist the forces of Fate.”

These characteristics are overshadowed by a strong belief in fate, against which she is powerless to contest. By assuming he is saying goodbye with flowers instead of looking at them as a greeting: “ He doesn’t know that in our profession flowers symbolize eternal parting.” She still sense hope, which from love, from courage. “ The sun is shining brightly outside, and he has brought some of it in with him, for the sun’s ray are reflected off of his white shirt. He is just like his name.Xia----eternal summer.” Sunshine often represents Hope, and Bright sunshine is a strong contrast with her workplace.

The narrator often feels puzzled or in a way worried about her fate and her future. “ There were times when I couldn’t shake my doubts that instead of being me, I had become another Aunt Yifen; the two of us were, in fact, one person----I had become a continuation of Aunt Yifen.” She seems always live under the shadow of Aunt Yifen. There are two examples in the story, one is about her younger brother and his lover’s love tragic. She questioned herself: “ why must one bow to life?”; The other is about Aunt Yifen’s young lover abandoned Aunt Yifen. It is said “his courage failed him.” In the narrator and Aunt Yifen’s dialogues about “Are you afraid?” a piece of Aunt Yifen’s word was deeply remembered by the narrator: “ Ai! Ai! What a weak girl she was. She gave up the man she loved just so she would be considered a filial daughter. Aunt Yifen knew that this girl over here had placed herself into Fate’s hands, of her own accord, out of a sense of gratitude, while that one over there had done the same by seekly accepting her lot.” Her outstanding courage is outstanding. Her fearlessness stems from her love as she believes "It is love that makes us completely fearless". And Aunt Yifen once said to me: “ Maybe Xia is not a timid person.” That is the reason why the narrator never give up her love for Xia even though she thought Xia might abandoned her when he was told of her career, which she deeply loved.

Draft Two

The story “A Woman Like Me” by Xi Xi is set in twentieth-century Hong Kong. It’s a story about Fate, Love and Courage. Through the narrator’s confession, the narrator draws an inference about her Fate. As a cosmetician for the deceased, the narrator fell in love with a man called Xia. But she worried that when she told Xia of her occupation, she would lose him. On the other hand, she likes her career as a cosmetician in a way. She admired Aunt Yifen and became more and more like her. But she didn’t want has the same fate in the aspect of love like Aunt Yifen. Filled with contradiction, at last, the narrator planed to take courage to tell Xia the truth. Though being powerless to Fate, the narrator never lost her courage for love, both for her occupation and Xia.

The story begin as: “A woman like me is actually unsuitable for any man’s love. So the fact that the emotional involvement between Xia and me has reached this point fills even me with wonder.” (pp.152.) It seems the narrator didn’t quiet sure about the love between her and Xia. She even couldn’t figure out why she took cadaver cosmetician as her career. As if Aunt Yifen passed the knowledge of her lifework to the narrator, then naturally the narrator became a cadaver cosmetician. The narrator thought Fate decided everything. “I feel that the blame for my having fallen into this trap, from which there is no escape, rests solely with Fate, which has played a cruel trick on me. I am totally powerless to resist Fate.”(pp.152.). However, the narrator held a doubt about that. In her deep mind, she thought one shouldn’t surrender to Fate. When the narrator recalled her younger brother’s love tragic, she questioned herself and thought one should not bow to Fate, though feeling it to be hard.

The narrator wavered between two contradictory opinions of fate as a power beyond man's control. Gradually she partly determined. She denounces anyone who does not fight for love when she tells the tale of a young couple who committed suicide for love. At first, she had the thought of using him to create “the most perfectly serene cadaver.” However, at last, she thought “his had been an act of extreme weakness: I knew that, considering my position, I should have nothing to do with anyone who lacked the courage to resist the forces of Fate.”(pp.157.)

She seems always live under the shadow of Aunt Yifen. “I had become another Aunt Yifen; the two of us were, in fact, one person----I had become a continuation of Aunt Yifen.” (pp.155) She didn’t want to have the same love experiences as Aunt Yifen. The narrator thought between love and career, Aunt Yifen chose occupation rather than her lover. But the narrator didn’t want to give up neither of them. Aunt Yifen’s young lover abandoned Aunt Yifen. It is said “his courage failed him.” The narrator thought it’s a tragic which she didn’t want it to happen in her future.

The narrator and Aunt Yifen’s dialogues about “Are you afraid?” a piece of Aunt Yifen’s word was deeply remembered by the narrator. Aunt Yifen’s fearlessness stems from her love as she believes "It is love that makes us completely fearless". Aunt Yifen once said to me: “Maybe Xia is not a timid person.” That is the reason why the narrator never give up her love for Xia even though she thought Xia might abandoned her when he was told of her career, which she deeply loved. That’s why the narrator had the courage to tell Xia the truth when she waiting for Xia in a coffee shop. By assuming he is saying goodbye with flowers instead of looking at them as a greeting. She still sense hope, which from love, from courage. “The sun is shining brightly outside, and he has brought some of it in with him”, “He is just like his name, Xia----eternal summer.”（pp.161） Sunshine often represents Hope, and Bright .Sunshine is a strong contrast with her workplace. But the narrator loves both.

No Courage, No Love

The story “A Woman Like Me” by Xi Xi is set in twentieth-century Hong Kong. It’s a story about fate, love and courage. As a cosmetician for the deceased, the narrator fell in love with a man called Xia. But she worried that when she told Xia of her occupation, she would lose him. On the other hand, she likes her career as a cosmetician in a way. Aunt Yifen, who was also a cosmetician, played an important part in the narrator’s life. Since lost her parents, the narrator was reared by Aunt Yifen. Aunt Yifen not only passed her skill and knowledge to the narrator, but also affected the thought of the narrator in many aspects. The narrator admired Aunt Yifen. Meanwhile the character of the narrator became more and more like Aunt Yifen. But she didn’t want to have the same love experience of Aunt Yifen. Through the narrator’s confession, the narrator draws an inference about her fate. Filled with contradiction, at last, the narrator planed to take courage to tell Xia the truth about her job. Though being powerless to fate, the narrator never lost her courage for love, both for her occupation and Xia.

At the beginning of the story, the narrator seemed to be pessimistic. However, through the long confession, we can see actually the narrator thought one should not bow to fate, though feeling it to be hard. The narrator said again and again she “[was] actually unsuitable for any man’s love” (152). It seems the narrator wasn’t quiet sure about the love between Xia and her. On the other hand, she couldn’t figure out why she took cadaver cosmetician as her career. As if Aunt Yifen passed the knowledge of her lifework to the narrator, then naturally the narrator became a cadaver cosmetician. The narrator thought Fate decided everything. She thought she “[fell] into this trap, from which there is no escape” (152). However, from the unconfident words “I am totally powerless to resist Fate.”(152), we can conclude the narrator held a doubt about that. In her deep mind, she thought one shouldn’t surrender to Fate.

The narrator wavered between two contradictory opinions of fate as a power beyond man's control. Gradually she was partly determined. She denounces anyone who does not fight for love when she tells the tale of a young couple who committed suicide for love. At first, she had the thought of using the man of the young couple to create “the most perfectly serene cadaver.” However, at last, she regarded the young man’s behavior as “an act of extreme weakness”.(157) She thought one cannot determine the fate, but can fight for a desire, for a better life, not just bow to fate. Having the strong courage to get what one cherished is the only way to change one’s fate. The narrator wanted to get the love from Xia, so she must have the courage to tell Xia the truth. We can see that’s why the narrator became decisive.

Though the narrator thought she became a continuation of Aunt Yifen, she didn’t want to have the same love experiences as Aunt Yifen. At first, she seemed to be always living under the shadow of Aunt Yifen. The narrator thought that between love and career, Aunt Yifen chose occupation rather than her lover. But the narrator didn’t want to give up neither of them. When the narrator reflected the love story of Aunt Yifen, she worried the history will repeat itself. Aunt Yifen’s young lover abandoned Aunt Yifen. It is said “his courage failed him”. The narrator wondered if Xia will leave her too if he knew she was a cosmetician for the deceased. The narrator thought it’s a tragic which she didn’t want it to happen in her future. Despite the prejudice about her job from society, the narrator cherished love strongly, while she didn’t want to sacrifice her job.

The narrator had the confidence on Xia that he was not a timid person, that’s why she never lost the hope of love even though she thought Xia might abandon her when he was told of her career. There was a dialogue by the narrator and Aunt Yifen about fear and fearlessness. Aunt Yifen’s comments on love were deeply remembered by the narrator. Aunt Yifen’s fearlessness stems from her love as she believed "it [was] love that makes us completely fearless". Aunt Yifen once said to the narrator, “maybe Xia [was] not a timid person”.(160) So the narrator had the courage to tell Xia the truth when she waiting for Xia in a coffee shop. Assuming he is saying goodbye with flowers instead of looking at them as a greeting, she still sensed hope, which from love, from courage. She saw “the sun shining brightly outside”.(161) She even thought “[Xia] had brought some of it in with him”.(161) Sunshine often represents hope, and brilliance. Sunshine is a strong contrast with her workplace. But the narrator loved both. She regarded Xia as a person who can be depended on for the rest of her life, while her career which she can devote her whole life to. She was at ease when she saw Xia coming towards the café with a bouquet of flowers. Connecting flowers with eternal parting, she considered the worst possibility. It proved that the narrator had the strong belief that Xia was not a timid person.

As a pessimistic woman, the narrator always felt uncertainty of her future. Her experiences and the prejudice from the society made the narrator feel being powerless to the fate. The love for Xia and her job seemed to be conflict to the fate, but the narrator grudged giving up her love so easily. The whole essay was about the awakening of the narrator. Facing the fate, she plucked up her courage to tell Xia the truth about her job. She loved Xia and her job so deeply. Aunt Yifen once said: “There can be no fear where love is concerned.”(160) So she had got the courage to earn what she loved.

Time Writing

Neo Liu
21 Dec. 2006
Time writing 3

Waking up in the morning, heating the coffee or milk, baking some pieces of bread, and going back to sofa to read the latest <>, it is not happened in certain American’s family, nor a scene in some western movies. Actually, it is a typical middle class Chinese’s life. You may wonder how this happened nowadays in China. It is the rapid development of communication and transportation that affect the life-style in many Chinese families

When china opening its market to the world, it also get some element of western world. Beside the numerous skyscrapers in big cities, the culture is also mixed. When we chat in the internet, more and more young Chinese use some popular word, for example the letter “U” stand for “you”. More and more Chinese movies use some element which once thought only to be used in Hollywood.

Some more obvious changes made china become more similar to the other places in the world is the changes in the way of life. The latest fashion in the Paris will soon appear in the streets of Shanghai or Beijing, no more than one day. Some Chinese even change their diet. They seem to adapt the western food better than the older generation. Many crazy soccer fans drink bears and cheer up for their favorite team in the bars or pubs, even though late in the night. If you notice that a number of bars or café appeared in the streets of some big city, you can sense that making a date in the café, enjoying the night in the bars or listening to the rocks became common things.

However, I did not quiet sure what china will be like in the future. Almost 99 per cent youth of Chinese said they like pop or rap rather than peking opera. There were Hollywood movies and cartoons around the people. Some Korean series or Japanese strips are also popular in the young. Looking at their clothes, if not the skin or the some characters, you even can not be sure they are Chinese. Chinese traditional culture is missing.

Because of the globalization, countries around the world became alike. I have to say it’s a good thing, but only in some ways. Globalization also destroyed the diversity of the culture. We need a colorful world, not one color.

Reading log

After reading the story "Village", many movie screens about Vietnam War packed in my mind. Indeed, Portillo Trambley created a vivid scene of the battlefield. Description of Vietnam’s village——the huts, the people, the slang used commonly in the U.S army, all of these made me soon placed myself in the Vietnam War, as if I am a soldier in frontline.

This story is full of foreshadows. E.g. in the beginning, after an all-night patrol, Harry and Rico took a rest at the top of the bluff. After the roar of the helicopter was the stillness. It was the stillness that made Harry homesick, made Rico to think about the war.

The author also used Rico’s inner heart activity to show us some essences of the war. E.g. the combat bible manifested the cruelty and brutality. Association of memories of Rico’s early life showed that war disturbs everyone’s peaceful life.

At last, I want to talk about War. Wherever exists unequal, there comes war. To be or to die, everyone has to do his choice. The relentlessness aspect of the war, however, in a way, made lots of things which once deeply concealed in one’s heart revealed. Abnormal behaviors in peace may seem to be normal in war. Some people’s brutal aspect of his heart may burst out. However, facing to war, more and more virtuous characteristics will be brought out. However, since we are all human beings, we cherish the peaceful life. That’s why when Rico saw the Vietnam’s villages, he hardly associated them with enemies’ huts. He was confused with his instinct or intuition. When Rico often murmured unconscious, we can see, it was nature of human kind that controlled his will totally.